The power of submission
“Some of the deepest relationships are formed when one person appears to be in complete control over another” ~ Richard Rudd, The Gene Keys
There is power in submitting that rivals some of the most powerful emotions I’ve ever felt. I’m not sure if it’s the act of letting go, complete surrender, the trust that comes along with it, or a combination of all the above, but submission connects my body, mind and soul in a way not much else does.
When I first heard this chapter in The Gene Keys, (guided insight to developing our genuine self), these sentiments helped me understand my own evolution through kink. Why did submitting to another make me feel like I had ‘come home’ almost full circle after my sexual journey meandered through recreational domination, cuckholding and into Pro.
Why do some of us desire complete submission to another?
There is a paradoxical power play going on between female dominants and male submissives; it doesn’t quite fit standard gender roles. Yet, diving deeper into domination / submission, those in kink know this has little to do with gender and is more about finding one’s ideal partner. Stereotypical societal norms become irrelevant and the dynamics that manifest are those on physical plane and a psychological one. Physically, one person appears to have control and power over another, while psychologically, emotions like trust, vulnerability, and authority emerge.
Humans have a primal desire to either control, or submit to another. This may shift depending on the different roles we play in life but we are in a constantly state of power play throughout our many relationships: between boss and employee, husband and wife, parent and child, dog and owner, bourgeoisie and proletariat, authority and subordinate, you get the idea. Human behavior is such that we identify as one or another in our interactions.
In dominant and submissive kink partnerships, even more prominent forces are embodied though activities such as high protocol, dungeon scenes, bdsm sessions, or in bondage, all of which requires embodied levels of competency, skill, efficacy, and chemistry. And when two people find their match all this will flow naturally and gracefully.
“When both are equally in service to the other … mutual benefit and balance transcends into complete wholeness.”
Embracing my submission filled a void I had suppressed my entire life. While surrender made me feel vulnerable; exposing my physical self to the disposition of another while reigning in psychological fear they won’t go too far, requires courage and trust. My ego becomes more aligned with my shadows, mental chatter screeches to a halt and my world cancels out everything but the here and now.
Willingly handing over our power knowing the other has full ability to destroy or abandon us, yet doesn’t, creates a profound sense of acceptance, and acceptance not only makes us feel like a complete human, it forms an irreplaceable bond of trust between a dominant and submissive. Rudd explains this as “finding the mirror to one’s self.”
“When we find our match we discover our true power.”
Although it may appear the Dominant has control, those involved in domination / submission know this isn’t the full picture. When the dominant meets their opposite in a willing submissive, they feel empowered by the submissive’s courage to willingly hand over control who naturally and with matching desire mirrors the dominate force. Both dominant and submissive surrender to each other and emulate each other as if they were made for one another.
Both dominant and submissive have found their muse.
When both forces feed each others innate desires a transcendence occurs. They won’t be able to replicate this feeling with another. They may form other bonds with other partners, but the one they form together is unique, and is one of the deepest known to man. This type of equal partnership reflects the polarity of the universe inherent in every single element. Inky blackness will only find its rival in brilliant white light. The brutal cold of winter melts under the searing heat of summer. There is unmatched unity in the surrender of one to another as opposite poles meet in the reflection of the other.
“powerful enough to be life-altering.”
When a dominant finds their perfect submissive, their complete second half, their match, they have found the yin to their yang and many imbalances seem to disappear. That’s why time feels irrelevant when you’re with your muse, it’s because time really does disappear. Your universe becomes one of completeness and synarchy, your polarity is fulfilled and life becomes your oyster.
Additional reading:
The Gene Keys by Richard Rudd
The Kyballion by The Three Initiatives